Neil Meili

Zen Cowboy Poet & Freelance Philosopher

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Tag Archives: Humor

Garbo Laughs The Donald Doesn’t

Audio Recordings / tagged Humor, Politics, Trump / September 12, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

The man that hath
no music in himself …
is fit for treasons,
stratagems, and spoils
- Shakespeare

Hate isn’t humor
mocking handicaps doesn’t count

The man who cannot laugh
at himself or with his fellow man
is a joke

A locker room pass doesn’t count
if you’re not a jock

Big Tent Politics

Audio Recordings, News / tagged Fear, Humor, Kamala, Trump / August 25, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns
who paint their faces in funny colors

Not far from here is a circus
with a lady on a high wire on a horse

In case you wondered what clowns fear

A Funny Story

Audio Recordings, Family, Remembering / tagged Childhood, Humor / July 21, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

In the dream I say to brother Wally

You're going to have to tell the story
of the milk I drank way back then
is going to come out my nose again

Little Church

Audio Recordings, Family, Ranch Life, Remembering / tagged Humor, Religion / July 17, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Sometimes, as far from everywhere as we were,
a visiting or student minister would make the long trek and our one room school would become a church for the day

It didn't happen often
so the first time my three year old brother sitting in the second row heard him say
"Jesus Christ"
he turned and said
"He swore Mom, the minister swore"
"Shh" said my mother
"He swore, he swore, he swore" said Wally
every effort to silence him only increasing his insistence and volume

Most fun that most of us, except my mother, ever had in church

Kinky for Gatekeeper

Audio Recordings / tagged Art & Artists, Death, Humor, Music / June 28, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

May the god of your choice bless you
- Kinky Friedman

With the tight-arsedness
of many of today’s religious
maybe God
can use a laugh or two

And Kinky can spell off
Peter at the gate
to measure
sense of humor to get through

Kinky, as he would say, stepped on a rainbow yesterday.
Many bios from the New York Times, to Rolling Stone to the Austin American Statesman

click names for links.

Y’Alzheimers

Audio Recordings / tagged Aging, Alzheimers/Dementia, Humor / June 11, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Getting old
and forgetting
that the South
lost the war

Turtle Boots

Audio Recordings, Cowboy Poetry / tagged Humor / June 10, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

I bought a pair of boots one time
made from an old sea turtle’s hide
The prettiest boots you ever saw
but a little bit tight along the side

I figured it would only take a while
to break these babies in just right
and in the meantime at least I’d have
the pleasure of taking them off at night

Now a hundred years don’t seem long
to an old sea turtle, or his next of kin
but it appeared it was gonna take that long
to break those miserable damn boots in

I tried everything to ease that constant pain
I soaked ‘em, I oiled ‘em, I bent ‘em, I boiled ‘em
If anyone had suggestions, no matter how wild
I got out those boots and sure enough tried ‘em

But those son of a guns just continued to pinch
I couldn’t get them to move 1/16th of an inch
wild thoughts of destruction started filling my day
but the boots were too pretty I’d just give them away

I gave them to my younger brother first
by logic his feet should be smaller you see
but after a month or so he gave them back and said he just couldn’t accept all that charity

So I gave them away to friend after friend
but I guess gratitude ain’t what it used to be
the results were always the same in the end
I got those turtle boots back, but I mostly lost
the friend

and every time I got them back
I’d put them on and wear them a while
and never could figure how one pair of boots
could cause so much pain
and still have so much style

But I gave them at last to a chiropractor
down in Texas
and I didn’t get ‘em back
so I expect he’s got ‘em beat

because if he can’t adjust those boots
he can always adjust his feet

Dusk

Audio Recordings, Farm, Ranch Life / tagged Humor, UFOs / June 6, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

One light comes on in the sky
one lamp on the prairie - James Wright

Lined up at the north end of the south field
hard machines made for tearing the earth
relax into softness

The newlyweds in the hired man's house
are getting a little shy again

While
just over the horizon which is becoming not one
teenagers from Mars in their little round cars
ponder a perfect night to spin a crop circle or two

Crop Insurance

Audio Recordings, Farm, Ranch Life / tagged Hope, Humor / June 5, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Young farmer at the country dance
feeling there was nothing left to live for
with his whole crop flat-threshed by hail

Until the prettiest girl in the hall
took him outside to show it wasn't necessarily so

Next morning's pews were filled to full
with farmers praying for their crops to fail

Rest less

Audio Recordings / tagged Humor, Insomnia, Sleep / March 18, 2024 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Counted sheep
until all the sheep were asleep

Stayed awake till dawn
to protect them from the wolves

With thanks to Chance Keezel for late night inspiration

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Ken Christopher on Old Wives Lake MassacreSeptember 11, 2024
Yes!!!!!!
Gerri Aiudi on Old Wives Lake MassacreSeptember 11, 2024
I love this and Stone Hammers
Ken Christopher on Sitting in My Father’s DeskSeptember 2, 2024
Very good!, I liked’d the Emily Dickinson one too, powerhouse babe all from the solitude of her room. Shen you…
Ken Christopher on AnnaAugust 30, 2024
Great poem!
Barbara Reichlin on Frank Gehry DesignsAugust 25, 2024
Love it

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