Neil Meili

Zen Cowboy Poet & Freelance Philosopher

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Tag Archives: Humor

Crab Apple Love

Audio Recordings, Family, Relationships / tagged Humor, Imperfection, Love, sensuality / May 22, 2026 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

You'd be crabby too
if you'd been through what I've been through

Yes, you might be a little crabby too
if all your relatives looked down on you

Sweet Granny Smith with her stem in the air
pretending she's green as the unmown grass
has a worm hole or two I could tell you about

And there's no living with uncle Mac
since that damn computer came out

But enough about them, let's talk you and me
how I'm so much more than an ornamental tree

About how lovely I am, and inviting you in
your teeth in my flesh and your lips on my skin

So if you're looking for love that's true to the core
I'm telling you love, you'll be looking no more

If you're looking for love that's going to stick
I've got plenty of pectin to do that old trick

And we can be jammin' all night and all day
if you'll bring some sugar, and meet me half way

The Snakes Were Easy

Audio Recordings / tagged Aging, Humor, Perspective, Play / April 11, 2026 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

for Gary Larson

When God in his youth
made mud toys in play

He never thought of the day
as few of us do
when his beard would be gray

1 Reply

Man of Mystery

Audio Recordings / tagged Art, Humor, Perception, Satire / March 21, 2026 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

All you need is
half the people thinking
you know more than you show

And the other half believing
you know less than you profess

And a smile enigmatic enough
to confirm both sides convictions

Marcel Duchamp’s satirical take on the Mona Lisa entitled L.H.O.O.Q.

Weight Loss

Audio Recordings / tagged Health, Humor / March 19, 2026 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

I lost some weight
Maybe it's in the
pocket of my other pants

This sort of thing
has happened before
It usually turns up again

How I Lost My Faith – In Preachers

Audio Recordings, Farm, Ranch Life, Travel / tagged Cowardice, Humor / March 3, 2026 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

It was a cold and muddy Sunday
Our little caravan of Christians
children, parents and student minister
stuck in the spring mud a mile from church

Me and city cousin Wayne
the chosen ones at age seven
chosen to walk
to the nearest neighbor
while the others wait in the cars

The neighbour's not home
but his Cockshutt 40 tractor is

Some combination of farm boy bravado
and reluctance to slog
back to the cars in defeat
comes out as "I can drive a tractor!"

One foot each on the clutch and a good deal of riding gets us into low gear
and off at about 2 miles per

The student minister meets us
two thirds of the way back

As our leader
in all things spiritual and practical
he decrees that we are going
far too slow
and selects another gear
(probably at random, he's from the city too)

The one he picks is the fastest
known in these parts as "Road Gear"
and we quickly accelerate to thirty

which causes the preacher to panic
(or remember the he forgot his bible)
and leap off

leaving us to wrestle the big red monster
now wildly careening from rut to rut
and rocketing toward the mired cars
and fearful families

Wrenching the wheel to
at the last possible moment
we narrowly avoid death and destruction
and stall to stop in the water-filled ditch
amidst the prayers of the congregation

1 Reply

Little Church

Audio Recordings, Family, Ranch Life / tagged Children, Embarrassment, Humor, Religion / March 1, 2026 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Sometimes as far from everywhere as we were
a visiting or student minister would make the long trek and our one room school would become a church for the day

It didn't happen often
so the first time my three year old brother
sitting in the second row heard him say Jesus Christ he turned and said
"He swore Mom the minister swore
"Shh" said my mother
"He swore, he swore, he swore" said Wally
every effort to silence him only increasing his insistence and volume

Most fun that most of us, except my mother
ever had in church

The Wink

Audio Recordings / tagged Confidence, Encounters, Humor, Protocol, Washington / February 3, 2026 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

When Dorsey was at school in DC
her and some pals were set up
for a White House private tour

Dorsey in the lead
on the path to the door
looking fine in a wide spring hat
with the President coming the other way

Being from the South she knew
that it was for the man to step aside

One of the suits gently suggested
that it didn't work that way here

Lyndon got the path
and she got a big wink when they passed

The Buddha Sat

Audio Recordings / tagged Buddhism, Enlightenment, Freedom, Humor / February 2, 2026 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

The Buddha
sat under the Bodhi Tree
ever so ever so long
trying to come up with the perfect joke

A joke so subtle yet simple as well
that whoever hot it would be set free

Only to find
when he succeeded
that it had been on him

and got up and walked away

Cowversations

Audio Recordings, Cattle, Cowboy Poetry, Cows, Farm, Ranch Life / tagged Communication, Humor / November 21, 2025 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

One of the reasons I got out of ranching
was the long drought of good conversation

Cowhands
true to their fame are men of few words

Horses ain't bad
they will at least point their ears and pretend

But cows, it was the cows that did it
how they'd saucer eye like listening
while you chewed them out in detail
about all the dumb things that they'd done

Turn away to ruminate upon the lesson
and two days later kick you for no reason

Two Dead Guys Walk Into a Bar

Audio Recordings / tagged Death, Friendship, Heaven, Humor, St. Peter / October 28, 2025 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

(for Bill Mooney)
What if you have
to make the old saint laugh
before he agrees to open the gate

Working on a few lines just in case

Sure would be good to see
Mooney and the old gang again
and I'm pretty sure that they got in

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Anonymous on WisdomMay 17, 2026
🤗 Very wise and true.
Sandi Hebley on School ReunionMay 16, 2026
Live it! I’m one immune to kryptonite— not Superman,
Anonymous on School ReunionMay 16, 2026
Love it!
Sandi Hebley on Eagle Eye at EighteenMay 12, 2026
😢
Sandi Hebley on My Mayday Maypole BirthdayMay 1, 2026
💕

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