Neil Meili

Zen Cowboy Poet & Freelance Philosopher

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Tag Archives: Grief

Frost Bite

Audio Recordings, Environment, Nature, Personal Growth, Ranch Life, Relationships / tagged Grief, Healing, Heartbreak, Winter / January 20, 2023 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

On the prairies they know
that you have to use snow

In January on the Wood River
the laces got wet and then stiff
and could not be untied

Walked the wimpering long mile home
in one frozen skate and one warm boot
part of my foot and all my toes
numb and milky white

On the prairies they know
that you have to use snow

Too much warmth all at once
can bring the feeling rushing back
with more pain than you can stand

I have since learned
- and this is the hard part-
It is the same way with the heart

Quick Exit

Audio Recordings / tagged Death, Grief / September 18, 2022 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

for Copper and Sharon

You do not have to sink
into the earth
an inch of pain at a time

Though the shock be more
for those who grieve
a little envy may enter too

Shooting Star Over Texas Hill Country – painting by Copper Love

3 Replies

All the Days

Audio Recordings, Relationships, Remembering, Travel / tagged Grief / September 17, 2022 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

The sparkling that heavens the earth - Galway Kinnell

In all our travels together
magic was afoot a -yard a-mile

I still have your laughter on the tape
world and heaven have your smile

Tears of Sugar

Audio Recordings, Relationships / tagged Funeral, Gratitude, Grief, Joy / September 16, 2022 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Tears of sugar
tears of salt

So beautiful or so sad
and sometimes half and half

Like stories at a wake
- Oh how she made us laugh

Echoes Fading

Audio Recordings, Poems about Poetry, Relationships / tagged Grief / September 15, 2022 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

another one for Sharon
Another poem today
and you not there to share

No answer to my whisper
and no answer to my shout

The box canyon's had the end blown out

Motherin’ Up

Audio Recordings, Cattle, Cowboy Poetry, Cows, Family, Farm, Ranch Life, Relationships / tagged Coping, Grief / September 14, 2022 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Sometimes you lose a cow
sometimes you lose a calf
You wrap the orphan
in the dead calf's skin
and the mother takes her in
like kin
Gold enough there for a country song
It's a hurtin song - you can sing along
About true love died and true love gone
and foolin yourself just long enough
to keep on keeping on

Missing Leonard

Audio Recordings, Poems about Poetry / tagged Grief / September 10, 2022 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Leonard Cohen is gone
He doesn't call, he doesn't write

So huddle with me now
fellow worshipers and weepers

Huddle with me now
round the poem and the song
and listen for the breadcrumb
and the hint of old perfume

that speak of other ways to God
that through the holes
in Jesus and the goddess

Judy

Audio Recordings, Poems about Poetry, Relationships / tagged Grief, Regret, Suicide / April 21, 2022 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

Judy was a beauty
tall and blonde and shy
early this month she decided to die

The soft wise eyes, the curling lashes
all now ashes

We have been friends for twenty years
hugs and coffee when in town, cards when far away

And always the latest poetry

She said it was important, and it touched her
in places nothing and no one else could reach

Three years ago
I put my neck in a green eyed noose

I sent no cards, I did not call

I do not know if I could have saved her
though touch and poetry have been known to

I only know I hate what I did and didn’t do
I only know that she drowned out there alone
I only know it was a long time since I had thrown her a line

The Way Joy Makes You Sad

Audio Recordings, Relationships, Remembering / tagged Grief / April 19, 2022 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

How the train of memory
takes you back to then and there
and all that bliss that got you there

Then quickly shunts to a side siding
or goes full gravel off the track
to grind to a halt at not coming back

A Debbie Moment

Audio Recordings, Relationships, Remembering / tagged Death, Grief / April 18, 2022 / by neil_2015_wordpress@neilmeili.com

I was noticing again the other day
watching a movie, strangely enough
called “Remains of the Day”
that even though you died
you haven’t gone away

In the movie
a bird gets trapped in the house
and tries to fly
through the high ceiling glass

Remember the time in the office in Austin
when the sparrow was trying in panic to
escape in this way

You spoke to it in your stardust voice
and it landed in trust in your hand

I remember the windows you flew against
and your trust so light in my hands

And it’s a comfort to see
you and the sparrow
both flying free

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