You’d be crabby too
if you’d been through
what I’ve been through

Yes, you might be a little crabby too
if all your relatives looked down on you

Sweet Granny Smith with her stem in the air
pretending she’s green as the unmown grass
has a worm hole or two I could tell you about

And there’s just no living with cousin Mac
since that damn computer came out

But enough about them, let’s talk you and me
how I’m so much more than an ornament tree

About how lonely I am, and inviting you in
your teeth in my flesh and your lips on my skin

So if you’re looking for love that’s true to the core
I’m telling you love, you’ll be looking no more

If you’re looking for a love that’s going to stick
I’ve got plenty of pectin to do that old trick

And we can be jammin’ all night and all day
if you’ll bring some sugar, and meet me half way