The secret life

of icebergs

 

(iceberg image)

 

©2004

  1. Neil Meili

 

 

 

For Elizabeth

 

and her much deeper self

 

 

 

CONTENTS

 

 

I WAKE EARLY

BONDING PATTERNS

IMAGO LOVE

FATHER’S SONG

SHAME

HANGUPS

BUDS

SAME OLD GARDEN

THE QUILT

LANTANA MANNA

HELEN

PREPARATION FOR ISRAEL

JERUSALEM

ISRAEL SHORT POEMS

JERUSALEM AND OTHER TRAVELS

WITCHES AND WARLOCKS

EGGSHELLS NEED LOVE

PRESIDENTS NEED LOVE TOO

WAR POEMS

THREE SHORT POEMS

BLOOD

POETS IN PEACETIME

MORE SHORT POEMS

ME AND THE DEITY 2003

OKEEFFE’S NEW MEXICO


See them cooly floating by

 

innocent and serene upon the surface

 

bump and grind below

 

 

 

 

I WAKE EARLY

 

 

I wake early and lie in bed

 

the air so charges with meaning

 

that I dare not rise to step into the day

 

 

What if I should lift a bitter sword

 

to cut my brother or my love

 

 

What if I make a careless jagged rend

 

in the sacred fabric of this day

 

 

How can I even dare to breath

 

when every breath may lift the wings

 

of butterflies or drive them to the ground


BONDING PATTERNS

 

 

Although it may not be apparent to you

 

the non apparent parent in you

 

is more than apparent to me

 

 

Although to be perfectly fair

 

it’s not likely I’ll mess with a hair

 

as long as it’s taking good care

 

 

But when it gets too big for its thighs

 

when it starts to guilt and to criticize

 

 

Something will change in the blink of our eyes

 

and it’ll be fighting with someone its size

 

 

Even though it may not be apparent to me

 

I’m gonna go running to the parent in me

 

 

If I tell my dad he’ll have something to say

 

and

 

if I tell my mom there’ll be hell to pay


IMAGO LOVE

 

 

And there shall come forth

 

a new way to love

 

 

And the turtle

 

shall like down with the lion

 

 

And the claw

 

shall be in the closet

 

and the shell upon the shelf

 

 

And the wound

 

of the child will lead them

 

home to the promised land


SONG OF MY FATHER’S SONG

 

I am the end of a long line

and the music plays in my head

feeling the need to sing the songs

of the silent living and the silent dead

 

To somehow feel and heal each one

right down to my grandfather’s son

 

To sing the songs of a slow gray man

who runs and runs till out of breath

chased yet by the swift dark wolves

of a long ago young mother’s death

 

With all his tender sores and songs

and all the stories he needed to tell

cauterized by a hard world’s fires

and the scabs on a private hell

 

And the part of him that I can’t touch

is the part of me that I can’t touch

the party of me I need so much

 

God help me reach that note

 

God help me clear my throat


A SHAME

 

 

It’s a shame that my shame

 

looks for someone to blame

 

 

It’s a shame that my shame

 

won’t be called by it’s name

 

 

It’s a shame that my shame

 

will kill to reframe

 

 

It’s a shame that my shame

 

can’t see through the game

 

 

Where my shame and your shame

 

are so much the same


HANGUPS

 

 

She had the greatest voice on the phone

 

someone once said, “a girl like that

 

should carry a phone with her everywhere”

 

 

I fell in love with the voice

 

the voice on the phone

 

and thought it was her

 

 

Someone gave her some of my poems

 

she fell in love with the poems

 

and thought it was me

 

 

The story doesn’t end there of course

 

and perhaps it would not have gone

 

so quickly great, good, bad, worse

 

 

If she had stayed on the phone

 

and I had stayed in my verse


BUDS

 

 

At the age of three or four

 

her bike hit a sharp ditch

 

pitched her into a fence

 

and broke her jaw

 

 

The tooth buds were damaged

 

and never grew in right

 

 

At about that same age

 

something else happened

 

 

She can’t remember just what

 

the family would listen then

 

and the family won’t talk now

 

 

But the trust buds were damaged

 

and never grew in right


THAT SAME OLD GARDEN

 

 

A lover sheds the skin of loving her

 

 

Bullsnake of fear blunt at both ends

 

poisoning without venom

 

as it crawls away

 

 

The snake of herself biting herself

 

as she watches


THE QUILT

(for Meri Walker)

 

 

You make it using

 

materials from all your old garments

 

 

Clothes that you have worn

 

for weddings, vacations, births and deaths

 

all the best days of your life and all the worst

 

 

When you give the gift, your friend says

 

“Thank you, this is perfect

 

it is sometimes very cold

 

where I am living at present

 

and this will get me through the winter”


LANTANA MANNA

(for Patricia Fiske at 77)

 

 

Trees and poets

 

grow from the inside out

 

 

The latest lines and rings

 

always

 

the greenest and most beautiful


THE MOST LOVELY HELEN

 

 

Poets are not saints

 

but by the grace of God and nature

 

and the law of magnets they attract them

 

 

If you believe in heaven she will go

 

 

If you believe that we come back

 

next time she may be the poet

 

blessed with one like her

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beloved wife of master poet Herman Nelson

who in his words “took one last gulp of time

and sank into eternity” in 2003


IN PREPARATION FOR ISRAEL

 

 

In preparation for Israel

 

I have the poems of Yehuda Amichai

 

 

If I read them I may need fewer maps

 

If I read them well I may need no maps

 

If I read them very well I may not need to go


JERUSALEM

 

 

Three days now on the Mount of Olives

 

watching the old city postcard change

 

from two to three dimensions

 

 

 

 

 

photo JERUSALEM, THE OLD CITY


JERUSALEM STONE

 

Church, house, grave, wall

 

no give at all

 

 

TEMPLE MOUNT

 

Seven Christian sects

 

can fight for a hundred years

 

on who has the right to wash a window

 

 

Seeming so in love with the questions

 

that any answer is the death of the beloved

 

 

A CALL

 

Five times a day

 

Moslems climb their towers

 

to interrupt my prayers


I STILL DON’T GET IT

 

When all is said

 

and oh so much is done

 

each side makes perfect sense

 

what they do to each other makes none

 

 

A TOAST TO OUR HOSTS

 

People of Israel

 

thank you for opening

 

we have fallen into your hearts

 

 

BACK IN AMERICA – NEWS OF BOMBING

 

Before we came to Israel

 

this was happening in our world

 

now it is happening on our street


JERUSALEM AND OTHER TRAVELS

 

 

I wake in the night

 

in a prison of my making

 

rattling the bars of might have been

 

and should and should not have done

 

 

Unable to escape I pace and I wait

 

 

For Buddha to melt the illusion

 

 

Or for Jesus to open the door

 

with sweet forgiveness

 

 

Or God to at least send along

 

a minor prophet with

 

a file in a cake


WITCHES AND WARLOCKS

 

 

I think

 

that the witches will win in the end

 

 

Independent as cats, stealthier than stealths

 

and higher than scuds they fly

 

every which, every which, every which way

 

 

While the warlocks are locked

 

into trying to rule

 

with the clumsy clubs of war


EGGSHELLS NEED LOVE

 

 

Lately I’ve been feeling so empty

 

and more fragile than ever before

 

 

Everything that I believed in is gone

 

 

Desperate I turn

 

my jagged edges to the world

 

 

Step on me

 

with sensitive feet, you will be sorry

 

with lumbering boots, I will be crushed


PRESIDENTS NEED LOVE TOO

 

 

If every statement

 

is either a please or a thank you

 

and it just might be true

 

 

Then maybe all George’s little Georgie

 

wants for Christmas is just to feel safe

 

 

And if that’s true, and it might be too

 

 

Than all I want

 

is for him to find a safer way to do it


WAR POEMS

 

 

Every poem

 

is an anti war poem

 

 

Although

 

people of prose

 

have often bent the light

 

to lead the young to their deaths


US

 

Each of us is them

 

each of us on every side

 

every bomb suicide

 

 

GRAVE

 

From every body dropped

 

into the not quite solid earth

 

ripples of might have been

 

 

MOTHERS DAY 2003

 

Civilization born

 

between Tigris and Euphrates

 

blood still running down both legs


BLOOD

 

 

The drums of war are beating again

and all the brave young boys

are leaving their mothers

to go off and be men

 

And they all will be changed

for the better or worse

and many a blessing

lies under a curse

 

And if they come back at all

when they come back from war

they’ll have friends on my friends

like they’ve not had before

 

Yes the friends they make here

midst the death and the fear

are friends that grow dear

and yet dearer each year

 

For a new family is formed

in the sand and the mud

where each man learns

blood is thicker

than blood


POETS IN PEACETIME

 

 

Poets like soldiers

 

are of little value in times of peace

 

 

But it is important that

 

they maintain their readiness

 

with a certain degree of discipline

 

some exercises with live ammunition

 

and long marches with heavy packs


AUSTIN AGAIN

 

Whenever I’m in Austin

 

I’m in a skin that feels like home

 

scratch me anywhere you’ll find a poem

 

 

WORLD POET

 

Thom in haiku sky

 

wringing rainbows in your eye

 

hanging them to dry

 

 

MY MAYDAY MAYPOLE BIRTHDAY

 

May children dance

 

laughter wraps with ribbons

 

spring opens heart


FOR THE HOMELESS

 

On a cold corner

 

flying signs of the times

 

may you land softly

 

 

INDECENT EXPOSURE

 

On city streets

 

hearts are private parts

 

close your coat

 

 

POETS PANTRY – FEEDING A FEW

 

Spooning the ocean

 

so little from the ocean

 

so much in the spoon


ME AND THE DEITY 2003

 

 

Bin Laden and Bush are bombing for God

tantric devotees are out humping for God

 

Hindus are sitting on peaks and lying on

nails and wiping out Moslems for God

 

In Ireland they’re still at killing their brother

in the name of the Father and holy Mother

 

In the Hold lands while the world overlooks

they are killing for land and two holy books

 

As for me

 

I’ve done nothing near so dramatic this year

to show the depth of my belief

 

Although I’m wondering if maybe the Deity

may be finding that a bit of a relief


O’KEEFE’S NEW MEXICO

 

 

In just this light

 

in about this place

 

 

The cuffs are brighter

 

because she painted them

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

back quote

 

By God, when you see your beauty

You’ll be the idol of yourself.

Rumi